


And in Fairytales

by daybreaks (day_breaks)



Category: Naruto
Genre: Canon recap, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Hyuuga Neji Lives, Lee helps Neji, Love Confessions, Misunderstandings, Omoi cameo, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:49:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23024293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/day_breaks/pseuds/daybreaks
Summary: A re-telling. Another world, in which Neji survives the Fourth Shinobi World War, where Neji and Tenten fall in and out of understanding, fall apart and fall together. What does it mean to love someone, and how do you realise that love?
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Tenten
Comments: 18
Kudos: 73





	1. they say

**Author's Note:**

> I'm envisaging a three chapter work. May largely be a cathartic work after all my years of mulling about this ship. Hope others on the internet enjoy the ride! Any thoughts you may have will be much appreciated.

Once upon a time

there was a boy with long hair

there was a girl with twin buns

he was a genius

she never missed her targets

he chased fate and destiny

she dreamed big dreams

he was a shinobi

she was a kunoichi.

.

When she was twelve, Tenten had a crush on one of the boys she knew. It didn’t take much more than a first blush at their first team meeting to get the feelings started. There were so many things to like: his almost effortless perfection in mastering all the genin-level techniques, his serious demeanour, good looks... Hyuuga Neji was a _genius_ – how lucky was she to be placed in the same team?

The crush was so bad that in the early years Tenten remembered even siding with Neji against Lee for the simple but flawed reason of just wanting to side with him (thankfully, she had come back from that in recent years). In defence of her younger self, Lee, underdog as he was, had Gai-sensei supporting and encouraging him. It did not take many of Neji’s sparse, but heated comments about the Main House to make Tenten realise that her teammate was very much alone. And perhaps Gai would have boisterously encouraged Neji just the same, but Neji seemed to bristle at too much affection.

That was how it started. Gai set the two of them up with a couple of training exercises, having identified how their natural strengths turned them into natural sparring partners. He laughed loudly as he started to leave the training area. “Well, well, normally teachers would be wary about leaving two hot blooded youths such as yourselves alone in these forests…”

Tenten had rolled her eyes, but her cheeks faintly reddened. Neji simply threw a condescending glance at Gai, and then looked at her warily, as if to say, I have no time for you if you’re going to be a lovesick girl. That had been the first splash of cold water. Gai squeezed her shoulder, and said to Neji, “I was only joking! But be careful with each other.”

“Hai,” they both affirmed.

As the days passed, Neji gradually began to warm to her, and Tenten, pragmatic girl that she was, saw that she was of more interest to him when she helped him perfect his skills, rather than for example, batting her eyelashes or puckering her lips, as she saw other girls her age were prone to do. Soon it was not long before months passed too, and Tenten got to know Lee and started to care for him as well. Even though Neji was never harsh with her like he often was with Lee, Tenten found it was easier to talk of mistakes and failures with Lee then with Neji. Lee could laugh at himself where Neji never could, and he was if nothing else, always full of encouragement and affirmation. Lee’s unflappable energy eventually won Neji over too, despite their rivalry, and Team Gai developed a surprisingly deep bond. 

When Neji had told Tenten that he wanted to master the Kaiten, she hadn’t known exactly what this meant. At the very least it was another technique, obviously, and one likely difficult to learn. It was only after some time had passed, that Tenten realised that the Kaiten was _the_ signature Hyuuga technique, that Neji was trying to learn the Kaiten by secretly watching his uncle perform it, and then trying to test his theories for making the technique work, with _her_ , his genin team mate, of all people! She had uncovered the first fact from delving into a few books at the local library, after curiosity had gotten the better of her, and Neji had proved less than forthcoming about all the details of what he was trying to do.

These initial revelations made her doubtful - yes, Neji was a genius, but to learn something so intricate from mere observation and without an instructor… was that even possible? In any case, there was a feverish look of determination in his eyes, a sort of cold angry fire that magnetized her and compelled her to get up early in the morning and stay training with him until late. She wanted to watch this boy try something a little mad. It was probably naive, but there was surely something in her back then that thought nothing was impossible for him.

Her crush faded a little, and her attention became preoccupied by a growing sense of loyalty. Her time became consumed with investigating ways to throw a greater mass of projectiles at the genius boy of her class. She had always once thought of trying healing arts, to be like Tsunade-sama, but soon started to find herself so much at home dabbling in ink and scrolls, blades and shuriken. At first, she used rubber projectiles because she refused to the possibility of even mistakenly skewering Neji through. And she was right, because the kaiten initially came out quite unevenly.

It was at times like this that bit by bit, through an odd question here and there, that his life story in greater detail spilled out. The curse seal he had revealed to the whole team, but she learned more about when he was given it, the death of his father, and Main/Branch House politics. She heard the anger, and the bitterness. She saw his determination when she found him at the training grounds before her, sneaking in an extra solo training session, or when he stayed up late to pore over Hyuuga scrolls. Back then, all he saw was the Main House and its injustices. She grew to learn how to pick up when he was annoyed or irritated, but also when he was amused or calm. And he changed. Bit by bit. They became dependent on each other in a strange unspeakable way. He trusted her, she realized, more than anyone else she saw him interacting with.

.

On the morning of Neji’s match with Naruto, Tenten had woken up with a shiver of excitement in her veins. She slipped into the outfit she had carefully lain out the night before, which included a dark green shirt with gold frog buttons. She twisted her hair into their customary buns and then in a whimsical afterthought, pressed some lipstick against her lips. It was a special day, after all.

The morning was still waking as she followed the sun towards their usual training spot. She arrived early, and warmed up by moving through a series of kicks, punches and simple weapon throws. When Neji arrived, his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly in surprise, and for some reason it made the early start all the more worth it.

This was it. This was the morning that Neji would show the Hyuuga clan his true strength by revealing the kaiten in its full glory. There was no question in Tenten’s mind about whether Neji would win or lose against Naruto because after all, although the boy must have done something right to win against Kiba, this was “dead last” Naruto. It was simply unimaginable that the genin could even hope of wounding Neji.

The day had seemed so perfect. Although they walked together to the stadium, they split at its entrance. Her mood sobered as they both caught sight of Hiashi and Hanabi entering the building ahead of them. Neji’s eyes darkened. Although Tenten said, “Do your best”, by the way Neji hned in response Tenten saw she had lost him.

In the end, the day could not have been more unpredictable. Fitting, given that Naruto liked to call himself the village’s number one unpredictable ninja.

It was Naruto’s outburst of upset words that disrupted Tenten’s chirpy mood, and Neji’s battle tactics. During the match, Neji began to speak in public, a great many of the different shreds of memories he had mentioned to her in private. His anger grew, dark and cold, pushing and needling Naruto’s own anger and frustration.

As they traded blows, Tenten realised that there was something in the raw and authentic way Naruto spoke, that was breaking down the wall Neji had put up for so many years. She could see it in his rage, and she felt lost, no longer sure of who she wanted to win. When Naruto delivered Neji the finishing blow, Tenten felt unsteady. It was like the ground had been removed from beneath her feet. And the ground, literally, had been removed from Neji’s feet, as he flew upwards in surprise and landed flat on his back, his body utterly worn down.

The arena breathed a sigh of relief. Tenten looked down, and wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to laugh or cry. It all kind of made sense in a roundabout way – the genius had been defeated by the dead last guy in the class, and there was a ghost of a smile on the loser’s lips.

.

Tenten for a long time, had felt it coming. It was this thought, hard to pronounce, even inside her own mind, maybe, because she was incapable or simply resistant to admitting it. As she had watched Lee and Neji grow and develop over the past couple of years, an odd sensation had developed in her heart, one of being left behind, like the smallest bird in a flock trailing behind the others. She only half dared to voice this sentiment aloud with the boys, and more often than not it came out in the reverse. She would still joke about “competing with Sakura for Tsunade-sama’s attention”, as if, well, she could actually compete with Sakura.

She knew she had been growing as well, she was level headed enough to admit that. Yet, there was something almost bittersweet of watching Neji become Jounin. She was both so happy to see him start actual training sessions with Hiashi, and then a little forlorn, although it did not make much sense to her.

He had perfected the Kaiten. What more need did he have of her skills, except for a brush up every now and again? Tenten realised that she had ended up being Neji's training partner, his sole partner, because back then there just had not been anyone else to fill the role. And, as fate – yes, she would use that word - would have it, there was her. She, who just happened to make throwing weapons her thing, and he who was trying to learn how to perform Kaiten, something that was meant to be impenetrable against projectiles.

And this soliloquy did not come as altogether at once to her, but rather initially, in bits and pieces, in between throws of kunais at targets and acrobatic flips, and sparring with Lee and Neji, in between doing her shopping, brushing her teeth, waking and sleeping. It was only one morning, as she was sipping a cup of tea, staring at a faded poster of Tsunade-sama, that she put it all together. She looked down at the tea leaves collecting at the bottom of her mug, a crescent shape sitting away from the handle. She sighed.

It almost irritated her when Neji still insisted on training together. It happened again after the end of a mission debriefing, as they left the Administration Building and were walking home for the day.

“So I’ll see you on Saturday morning, usual spot.” It wasn’t so much as a question as a throw away remark, really, just making sure she didn’t have something on he didn’t know about. She very well could have just kept walking, and nodded, and that would have been that.

But today was not the day for that.

Instead she said, "Neji. I know you are busy.” Truth to be told, so was she… “Well, I’m busy too. But you are busier, with a lot of important things.” How to say it? “I appreciate it, but you don’t need to be such a gentleman about this. If you have other things to do, that’s okay, you know?”

Neji paused, and although he didn’t look at her, Tenten could tell by the sudden freezing of his frame that he was surprised. Although Tenten had paused in her step as well, she did not let it last for long, and by doing so, compelled Neji to keep walking as well.

She could see he did not understand. “We’re both busy, and we’ve always been busy.”

_What do you mean, really?_

Tenten bit her lip and looked away. She could no longer speak to their hidden language. How could she explain any further - what, that the real reason she was irritated was because she very much wanted him around, but felt like she had no more to offer him but herself? That he was going places she wasn’t sure she could follow him into? And that she needed to grow, become her own person? That –

Tenten blew out her bangs, and reached within herself for other reasons.

“Well, you’ve been trying to train a lot more with Hinata-chan recently right? That makes sense. I know people in your Clan are starting to look to you. You and Hinata-sama ought to work together. You should be learning things with her. Get some variety, right?”

“You seem to always bring in a new weapon I’ve never seen before. I don’t mind that variety.”

Heavens. Of all the times to joke. Neji could be odd like that.

“You know what I mean. You’ve mastered your Kaiten – I don’t think me chucking any more weapons at you will really help you. You need Hinata as a sparring partner, not me.” She exhaled, satisfied and relieved that she managed to reach some sort of conclusion.

“And yourself?”

“Well, it’s about time I brushed up on a bit more of my taijutsu techniques, or at least try my projectile techniques more against Lee. We’re both still Chuunin. I think it’ll be good for me too.”

His gaze, so neutral, was still scrutinizing her. She wondered what he saw, if he saw anything at all. She was genuine about what she said, even if she was not saying everything she meant. It was an odd feeling though, not just _being_ , with Neji. But then she figured, maybe sometimes you had to hold back, even with people you cared about.

Finally, Neji shrugged. "You bring up good points. All right then. That suits me as well."

All too fast, Tenten wanted to take back her words, question him, unveil the tangled situation she perceived arising before them, but then she was confronted by the fear that arose when she thought too much about the significance of what might be happening, so - she didn’t.

“It’s not like we’ll never train together again,” she pointed out, pushing cheer into her voice, “We’re just branching out, for now.”

“Mhm,” he said.

Tenten could not tell whether any of this was registering with him because sometimes, even with Neji, well, you never quite knew.

And for some reason, when they parted ways and she reached her front doorstep, she felt strangely empty. It was only after her shower, and she was wrapping her hair up in a towel to dry it, that she reflected on his face, so neutral, and was sure, that something in her hurt. She didn’t dwell on it for long though. Even at the age of fifteen, Tenten had learned how to be pragmatic. If you kept moving, kept busy enough, you could forget about pain.

But there were still moments where she was, embarrassed to say, caught by cliché feelings of romance, and realised her twelve year feelings had never quite, dissipated with the passing of time. There were still times when she and Neji went out by themselves on missions. She would see a couple in passing on the street, holding hands and she and Neji would be there too, walking so closely together. A twinge of wistfulness would interrupt her peace. But Tenten was a practical girl. She breathed out, plucked her kunai out and spun it around in her hands. She kept on walking. Neji would have been none the wiser.

Whether it was through any sort of deliberation or not, they did end up drifting, she supposed. How could they not? They became caught up in different circles, as Neji found himself more and more entwined with Hyuuga Clan politics, and Tenten found herself training with the other kunoichi, and increasingly getting involved with the weapons supply departments in Konoha. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem to hinder their teamwork, like the time when Naruto first came back on his journey. They, and Lee included, fell back together like three jugs of water being poured back into the same basin. But this was increasingly disrupted by the growing unrest in the Shinobi World.

They were put in different teams in the War, and hardly saw each other. Everything was turned on its head, with Jinchūriki running amok, Uchiha Madara threatening to upend everything they knew and the Hidden Villages coming together in an uneasy alliance. Life became relentless, all-consuming to the point where all thoughts but keeping the world intact vanished, right up to that battle where Neji crossed paths with Naruto and the Ten-Tails.

That battle.

When Tenten heard the news, she had no words. No thoughts. Except one: she realized she had not spoken to him in a month.


	2. the lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm vaguely trying to follow the canon timeline, so by the end of the chapter, Tenten and Neji should be about 20. This chapter also welcomes the arrival of Lee and Omoi into the fic, hopefully a few others will make their appearances here and there in later chapters as well.
> 
> This will also probably turn into four or more chapters - seems like there may be too much to say. :P Otherwise, hope you enjoy!

The day Neji woke up in hospital, Lee and Tenten both cried. They had come simultaneously when notified by the nurses. Lee cried the most, bucketing tears of relief until his eyes were red and his sleeves were drenched. He would not stop until Tenten pressed her hand into her his shoulder and said, “Lee, Lee, it’s okay.” 

Tenten’s own voice trembled, and she cried too, though not in such an audible fashion, merely letting tears leak from her eyes before wiping them away as if they had been nothing. She tried to answer Neji’s questions about what had happened while he had been comatose, and then after a few minutes insisted gently, that he needed to rest. Although fervently attentive, she only touched him once. This was opposed to Lee, who doggedly clutched his hand in an iron grip. At some point in that first meeting, Neji remembered his eyes closing, his body unable to stay awake any longer. His last memory was that of Tenten gazing at him with an inscrutable expression, her features unusually drawn and sombre. 

Those initial weeks felt surreal, and he remembered them only in disjointed fragments. However, he was certain that he received a steady stream of visitors. Aside from his teammates and Gai-sensei, he also remembered visits from his uncle, Naruto and Hinata. He lost track of the doctors and nurses that attended to him. Breathing was not always easy, and he was fed a steady diet of pain killers. There was a strange lightness, as if he could feel all of the holes that had been punched through him during that battle. This would have been a delusion - by that stage any such holes would have been repaired through some miracle army of medical nin.

In those days, he still was not sure whether he would make it, and it had not bothered him as he imagined it might bother say, Lee and Tenten. For on some nights he would dream of his father, and in the mornings after he would muse to himself that perhaps, proceeding to the afterlife would not be such a bad idea after all. When he leaped in front of Hinata, his whole life had flashed before him. In that one catastrophic moment he had been able to smile because everything had seemed clear.

He had been ready to die.

Now, waking up on the other end of the war, that clarity had vanished. It was odd. Although Neji was desperately grateful for beating death a second time in his life, he somehow could not shake the unreasonable but persistent feeling that fate had thrown his decision back in his face- as if even choosing his own death was not simply all up to him. It was the sort of feeling that made him clench his fists, the one small action he could manage in his hospital bed. Tightness would wind through his entire body before he forced himself to relax and concentrate on the fact that he was alive. Surely that meant something.

It was frustrating, being confronted by the new, reduced capacity of his post-war body. It would never be able to handle the same rigours it used to. At one point Tsunade frankly told him he was the equivalent of a patched up balloon. And Neji could feel it. He was not as strong as he once was. But he was only nineteen – what else could he do in life?

.

Neji would not let his new body become a cage. He had been adamant to himself about this point. And so it happened on one day while Tenten was visiting Neji in the hospital, that Neji looked at her straight in the eyes and said, "If you're up to it, I would like you to help me start training again.”

She was that one person he could ask.

Tenten had paused for a moment, but then soon agreed, giving him a smile so bright he could not figure out a way to question her initial hesitancy any deeper. A few days later Tenten showed up in his ward, armed with a stack of medical notes and a gleam in her eyes, reliable as always. They started with walks around the hospital and basic bodyweight exercises. And although he had been appreciative of everything Tenten was doing for him, he could not help but complain about the pace on the third day.

“I hope that we are going to speed up soon.”

Tenten sighed (this would become a frequent habit of hers) and said, “I’m here to make sure you don’t keel over and die by overexerting yourself too early in the process.”

Neji managed to express a snort as he worked his way through a set of push ups. “I’m not Lee.”

Tenten then rolled her eyes. “In my experience, you haven’t been that much better. Remember that time, ages ago, when you passed out, and I had to wake you by pressing a wet towel to your face? That was terrible! It was one of those moments made later me realise I just wasn’t cut out to be a medical nin like Tsunade-sama.”

The memory flashed through his mind’s eye. It was nearly odd, how the frustrated embarrassment that once availed him seemed so distant now. Neji briefly smiled. “Don’t remind me of it.” After he finished the second set, he paused, and then remarked, “I’m not who I was, either.” He looked up at her.

Tenten’s gaze softened, her eyes turning an almost wistful shade of brown. It was a curious thing to see. Neji eased himself into another push up. “How many have I done?”

“Forty now. I say you do ten more and then you should take a break.”

Tenten adjusted her sitting position so she was sitting lotus style, and then leaning on her thigh using her left elbow, plopped her chin into her left hand. “It seems like so long ago now.”

Had Tenten always been this contemplative? After the War, he was sure that everyone had their own ghosts. But he was still caught by the irony of seeing a person so physically close to you, seem so far away. He wondered whether he had ever felt like that in their younger days. Back then, they had told each other so many of their hopes and fears.

.

Things were never quite the same – this was what Neji had concluded, although what he was comparing the present to, he was not always sure. Before the War, before his brief run-in with the Ten-Tails, before he had started to make amends with the Hyuuga Clan? For starters, Tenten and him did not relapse into training as frequently as they did in their genin days. They did not have the same amount of time they used to, nor the same freedom from responsibility. However, they had started to go out for dinners, in which Tenten slowly but surely, almost methodically, filled him in on all that he had missed while he had been comatose. Weeks passed into months, and before he had known it over a year had gone by and his Post-War life, his Post-War body had became his new normal, as had these semi-regular dinners.

At one such meal, Tenten informed him that she was going to help organize a weapons conference, with some other shinobi from the Shinobi Alliance who specialised in bukijustu.

“I’ll need someone to vent to, that’s for sure,” Tenten laughed, and then lamented: “"I may know some of the male ninja from out of town… but I'm not sensing a high probability of landing a date."

“Surely this isn’t the reason you’re helping.”

“You know I was just joking.”

Neji looked at her pointedly.

Tenten flushed. This surprised him a little, but not as much as the words that next fell out of her mouth: “Okay, okay, maybe I’ve just hung out with Sakura and Ino and the girls too much recently, but I’m young and single, and although I’m not very feminine and graceful…”

To be fair, it was probably not an unnatural thing for a young woman to say– but for some reason something inside Neji curled and he said, “Just don’t lose your focus.”

He thought that would have been the end of the matter, and they could get on to ordering dinner, and discussing other things, when Tenten started to speak again. “I don’t know, I’ve been thinking – isn’t finding a life partner a reasonable focus to have? I mean, the Hyuuga clan is all about keeping the bloodline pure and perpetuated. You probably have a dozen second cousins lined up.”

“Hanabi has been suggested,” he replied darkly.

“What?” Tenten then gave him a sly look. “Well, she’s grown quite… pretty.”

“Let’s not go there.”

“Don’t you think about it at all?”

Had he? Could he really think that far, when sometimes he doubted how long he could, realistically live? All he had known was the shinobi way. If he was on the battlefield again, it was only a matter of a time, surely, before his body gave out. And besides that…

Neji frowned. “In the Hyuuga clan, marriage comes with so much political baggage.”

“How about Hinata and Naruto?” pressed Tenten, brows furrowing.

Neji exhaled. Naruto and Hinata’s relationship had blossomed recently, despite all of Hinata’s perplexing timidity, and Naruto’s excruciating obliviousness. Who knew that a high stakes mission to rescue Hanabi would be the catalyst that near hopeless couple needed?

“They’re different.” When her unconvinced demeanour refused to disappear, Neji continued. “For starters, I’m not as headstrongly passionate as either of them. If my marriage was good for the clan and the village, I think I would have my peace even if it was an arranged one.”

Tenten bit her lip. “Hah. I suppose I don’t have that to worry about as much, having no name of my own. I’m not sure having more choice is any better. Who even needs to marry?”

“It’s a stable arrangement for raising children.”

Predictably, Tenten groaned. But her previous question still lingered on. Neji crossed his arms, impatient to find a tidy way to conclude the discussion. “My only advice is, just don’t give yourself away easily. If you want to choose, choose carefully.”

“But how would I choose?” demanded Tenten. Her face reddened again, embarrassed by her own outburst of earnestness.

Neji did not know how to respond. He ended up looking away. “I don’t think I’d be the best person to ask.”

There were new things to learn about Tenten, Neji realized.

.

Out of the three of them, Tenten would end up being the most sociable. It made her a great informal diplomat because although she at best, endured formal dinners, she was always happy to escort guests from other hidden villages around Konoha. Male shinobi found her easy to get along with. She laughed generously and loudly, didn’t balk at coarse language, and bantered without being overtly flirtatious. Where Lee might have been dramatic and insistent on extravagant activities, Tenten was relaxed and down to earth. Where he tired of too many social activities in a week, Tenten was generally game to go out with anyone, at any time.

In a way, Neji had always known this about her, but the events of late had made it more pertinent. It was as if someone had handed him a magnifying glass and all but cajoled him to observe some finer details on an ornament he had always overlooked. On the first day of the bukijutsu conference, he found her across the room, surrounded by a group of young men trying to register.

Lee stood beside him, reading the conference brochure. "How exciting! Look at all of these speakers and workshops, Neji! Can you believe Tenten helped pull this together?"

"Of course. She’s a good organiser; and she is passionate about ninja tools.”

Neji's gaze hadn't shifted. He surveyed the way she passed out name tags, teased, laughed, shrugged. He looked at the way a few of the nin looked at her, and was reminded of their recent dinner conversation.

"She's attracting a fair amount of attention,” Neji observed.

"Oh yes. Our sweet radiant flower. Utterly blossoming. Attracting a swarm of bees to her sweetness."

“It's unfortunate they come with so much noise.”

“Nature can’t help itself.” Lee’s eyebrows wiggled, causing Neji to raise his eyebrows warily in response. “Are you possibly intimating some sort of jealousy-“

Neji snorted. “Over a bunch of over excited idiots?”

"She looks pretty animated by their idiocy.”

Lee had not spoken inaccurately. There was faint flush on Tenten’s face, as she had tried to sort the group in front of her out. At one point, she brandished a kunai at them, and commandeered them to get back into a more organised line. But she generally looked more amused, rather than irritated at their exuberance.

"I wouldn't put too much weight on it."

"How can you be so sure?" There was a slight incredulity, combined with strangely enough, amusement, in Lee's voice.

This made Neji pause. An image of thirteen-year-old Tenten flashed into his mind, her eyes brimming with excitement as she talked about Tsunade-sama returning to town. He blinked, dispelling the image. Twenty-year-old Tenten stretched her arms above her head in satisfaction as the group of shinobi she had been attending to finally moved away.

"I know her, that’s all,” said Neji finally.

Lee scrutinised him. After a while, Lee grinned and clapped Neji on the shoulder. “Of course you do, my dear eternal rival!”

Neji opened his mouth to reply, and the two of them may well have continued, had the building doors not banged open at that very point in time. A blonde nin from Kumogakure entered the room, and all but dashed towards the registration desk. It did not take long for Neji to identify him as one of Killer Bee’s students, given the nin was indulging his peculiarly infamous habit of sucking a lollipop.

Omoi seemed concerned at being late, but soon calmed down as Tenten laughed and breezily handed him a form and pen. The two’s attention was about to leave the pair, when Tenten leaned over the desk and gestured at the nin’s katana. Neji felt a wave of de ju vu wash over him as he caught sight of Tenten’s delighted expression.

Some sort of conversation ensued, though Neji could not pick up the words. At some point, Tenten whispered into Omoi’s ear, making the Kumogakure nin’s eyes widen. He tilted his head from side to side in consideration, causing Tenten to roll her eyes. Finally, Omoi scribbled something down on a piece of paper, and passed it to her as he left the room, grinning wolfishly.

As if a single unit Neji and Lee stepped forward and walked towards her. Tenten shoved the note into her pocket as soon as they came closer.

"Your beauty is radiant, my youthful flower," beamed Lee.

“As it always is,” replied Tenten impishly.

"What was that about?" Neji asked. He could not help himself. It was as if a there was a wind in the air, pulling the words from his mouth. Where it was going, he could not tell, but he would not lose it.

“What was what about,” she said, busying herself with tidying up the desk.

“The Hidden Cloud Nin.”

“Oh, Omoi?” Tenten glanced at him. A playfulness crept into her facial features. “He’s not bad looking, huh.”

Neji shrugged.

Lee slapped his hand on the table impatiently. “We are rather curious to find out about what the two of you were arranging.”

Tenten laughed. “Oh really? Well, he’s going to give me a kenjutsu lesson! I just need to find a venue, town’s gotten a bit crazy with the conference happening this week.”

No wonder she had gotten excited. Almost instinctively, Neji put together a solution on the spot. “I’m sure there will be a free courtyard in the Hyuuga Compound. I can arrange for you to use one.”

Tenten’s face lit up. “Really? That would be so helpful! I wouldn’t want to put anyone out…”

“I’m sure it will be fine.”

At some point in this interchange, Lee had started to make a pleased humming sound, which promptly stopped as soon as Neji gave him an eyeful. “You’re welcome to come along as well, Lee.”

“Alas, I’m setting off on a mission this evening. That’s why I thought it apt to drag us all out for a farewell lunch.” Lee’s eyes turned uncontrollably watery. “I can’t believe I won’t be around to support you at this conference Tenten!”

“Eh – farewell? How long are you going for?”

“Three days,” mourned Lee.

Tenten smacked Lee’s shoulder. “You idiot, you had me worried for a second.” At Lee’s sheepish grin, she sighed, and lips turning upwards, waved away her irritation. “Anyway, I’m nearly done. Let’s go get something to eat, I’m famished.”

Lee cheered. “I’ll go look for a restaurant!” He then ran off, leaving Neji to help Tenten sort paperwork into folders.

“I haven’t been to the Hyuuga Compound in a while now. Are you sure it will be all right?”

“You’ve never been unwelcome.”

“What sort of comment is that?”

 _Is this really all right_? Again, that doubt. It was hard to tell whether she was questioning him, or herself. Neji figured he could answer for himself, at the very least.

“I know the Hyuuga Clan is not the epitome of hospitality –“ At this Tenten threw him a wry look, which Neji humoured her with a small smile. “But seriously, consider it – it will be easier for you than making a booking, given all the visitors in town.”

"Okay, okay, you've got me." Tenten laughed. “Thanks, Neji.” 

Neji relaxed, glad his logic won her over. They finished the packing up in relative silence. Tenten did not mention the note, and Neji did not ask. For the time being, Neji, being Neji, decided to let her be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of chapter three: Tenten’s training session with Omoi at the Hyuuga Compound.
> 
> She should have known.


	3. live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, world! Apologies it has been a while. My life has been disrupted by covid-19 (which I am sure has affected everyone as well...!), amongst other things. I'm now feeling back on track. Thanks for clicking in - I hope you enjoy this chapter, and look forward to hearing any thoughts. 
> 
> PS  
> There's some nice NT fan art on Pixiv.net, especially if you use the ネジテン tag and I'm also particularly loving the work by a 氷莲. I've only recently discovered this, but maybe there are other people like me out there! Let me know.

She should have known.

This was what Tenten found herself lamenting a good hour into her lesson with Omoi. Her arms were slowly beginning to burn from the strain of holding the katana properly. Despite all of her time spent wielding steel, a new activity forced herself to reassess a once familiar thing. Different muscles were being called upon and she did not have the comfort of being allowed much distance from her opponent.

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, sweating nervously as she and Omoi assessed who would make the next move. They mirrored each other’s movements, swords lightly touching. Suddenly, Omoi raised his sword at her. Tenten barely managed to parry his blow, albeit with an un-eloquent and violent jerk of her arms. She exhaled in relief.

In hindsight, the courtyards of the Hyuuga clan was probably not the best place to making a fool out of herself. She had not been here since well before the War. Some younger need of hers to look competent before the clan clung to her like a ghost. Nevertheless, the katana she had found in a dusty shop a year ago was too well made to go unused and it seemed like the winds of luck (for she sometimes still believed in things like that) had blown in her favour. The paths of her and a reputable swordsman had crossed just about the time she had finished teaching herself the basic grips, blows and parries. She would have to settle for hoping that not too many of Neji’s relatives were out and about.

Omoi was an adept and patient teacher, but he was not immune to amusement. At one point he laughed, after witnessing another wobbly parry from her. “Damn. Your technique –“

“My technique is what?” Tenten lunged at him, forcing him to leap back.

“Impressive,” said Omoi, blocking her blow with an enviable ease.

Tenten lifted her eyebrows dubiously.

Omoi grinned, and it appeared genuine. “No, honestly! You do have an unusual style, but I guess that makes sense if you are self-taught. Have you really used this sword as projectile?”

Tenten paused, panting, and then straightened. She chuckled. “Yes.”

Omoi relaxed his stance. “I don’t know about that. Because, you see, “ and at this Omoi tilted his sword so it was displayed horizontal, “look at the whole weight of the weapon, and the way the handle is shaped. It is just not designed– “

Thwack! Tenten would always look back at this moment with amusement of her own – the sight of Omoi’s jaw dropping in response to her katana squarely hitting a wooden post at the opposite end of the courtyard.

Neji, who had been reading off to one side, only glanced up for a few moments. “Remember to be careful with your surroundings.”

Neji knew her too well to be fazed much, Tenten supposed. She sheepishly retrieved her sword from the post.

“I’m not sure how I feel about seeing a katana used like that.” Omoi’s face had contorted in a delightful mix of emotions.

“Well,” said Tenten brightly, “now you know why I asked you for a lesson. And like I said, I’ll treat you to the best dango in town.”

Omoi smiled, appeased. “I look forward to it.”

Shortly after that, Neji went off to fetch tea, heralding the start of a well needed break. Afterwards, while Omoi oversaw Tenten cleaning her sword, he and Neji fell into an easy discussion about how Hidden Leaf and Hidden Cloud had been doing in recent months. Tenten was pleased at how the two got along, although it was hard to pinpoint who she was really pleased with. That Omoi was being conversational, or that Neji was? Dwelling on either possible answer left her feeling a little odd.

Ironically, Omoi would be the one responsible for giving her the answer. It started with him asking a question of his own, probably meant as another expression of friendly curiousity. “Neji-san, what are you like with a katana?”

“Unlikely to be very good.” Neji admitted. “But then there are other ways to kill a man.”

“There are many.” Omoi allowed himself a dry chuckle. His next words slipped out, almost like an afterthought. “You seem like a hard man to kill.”

The air stilled.

Tenten’s mind was flooded with memory.

Neji, riddled with stakes like a target practice dummy. Neji, pale as a mannequin on a hospital bed. He had been so close to -

Alarmed by the heaviness building in her chest, Tenten quickly downed the rest of her tea in a bid to distract herself. She launched the three of them into a conversation about how Omoi decided to specialise in the katana. This lasted them a good many minutes until Karui showed up at the courtyard. The red-haired nin was pleasant to her and Neji, but nothing short of livid at Omoi. He had apparently forgotten about a meet-up he had with Karui and Samui that evening, and the more he tried to justify himself, the more irate Karui seemed to become.

Omoi barely managed a “Thank you” to Neji, and a “I’ll see you later” to Tenten, before being dragged away by his teammate. The two left, arguing. It did not take long for the courtyard to retreat into what Tenten expected to be its usual level of quietness.

It was now impossible to ignore him. It was not as if Neji looked particularly frail but perhaps it was the sight of him being alive – sometimes it still seemed like such an extraordinary fact. Neji, stacking cups in a bamboo tray. Neji, holding the tray. Neji, catching her gaze on him, and holding it.

“I’m fine.”

“I know.” Tenten flushed. Maybe life had been too busy. Maybe her heart was a little slow. What else could explain why now, of all moments, she was brushing her fingers beneath her eyes, trying to keep her face dry?

Gratitude fell out of her mouth. “Thank you. Thank you for letting us do this here.”

It was difficult to read Neji. At first, he shrugged. “The Hyuuga should play their part to entertain guests from other villages.” His demeanour then seemed to waver. “Would you like to have dinner here? I can show you to the guest quarters if you’d like to freshen up beforehand.”

He was concerned. This alone caused a tugging at her eyes. It was Neji, really, who so easily captured her attention – this was true before, and it was true now. 

What should she do? Why did it seem like there was a boundary line before her? She could easily decline, saying that the conference was in full swing, and she needed the time to attend to a few administrative jobs. A thought at the back of her mind wondered about Omoi.

But, it had been so long since she had come over. Once upon a time, dinners in the compound would not create such questions within her. Once upon a time, before her heart had become so tangled, she would have said yes, immediately.

That part of her was still there in her like a river, pulling her forward. In the end, Tenten agreed. Later, she could blame it on the current.

.

The evening with Tenten had started off relatively well. She was not a picky eater and seemed easily impressed by what Neji served her, which was essentially rice with a piece of grilled fish. She made a fuss at how finely he had sliced the salad vegetables. From memory, Tenten’s cooking skills had never been laudable.

Tenten freely admitted to this, doubting her ability to return him the favour. She laughed, “I would be a terrible housewife. I think you are more domesticated than I am, Neji.”

Tenten’s joke comforted Neji, making him hope that her previous melancholy was only fleeting. There was plenty to occupy her as well in the house. She had not been to visit him for what had felt like a long time (why had this been?) and was quick to pick up on details that had changed over the years. Inquisitive as ever, Tenten eventually insisted on having a tour of his personal quarters.

For better or for worse, this was how she ended up discovering the stacks of books in his room. Most people would not have thought much of his new pastime. But Tenten’s eyes immediately honed in on _The History of the Hyuuga Family_ , and it did not take her long to find the page he had bookmarked in _The History of the Hyuuga Family_ – the start of a chapter discussing the generation in which the curse seal had been introduced. The diagram of the seal itself took up a good quarter of one page.

A frown marred Tenten’s face. “Neji, this is heavy bedtime reading. In fact, it’s dangerous bedtime reading.”

She knew this too well. This was the girl he convinced to help him practice the kaiten in secret.

“If someone in the family becomes displeased, the worse they can do is kill me.”

 _The History of the Hyuuga Family_ closed with considerable force. Tenten’s next words came out strangled. “You shouldn’t talk like that.”

Had he always been this blasé about death? A few years ago, he was probably arrogant enough to think that he was too skilled to die young. To never lose again. This had been his goal after his fight with Naruto. He had kept that goal, even after his fight with Kidomaru. Even after he had survived what no one should have survived. The paradox of his life grated at him.

“It’s true.”

Tenten bit her lip, unable to produce a response.

They knew each other two well to hide behind polite gestures, and that knowledge cut both ways. Lee was the crier in the group, they had always said. It was rare for Tenten to be deeply emotional. And yet, she had been close to tears that afternoon – for him. The thought was almost too large to bear.

Regret coloured Neji, as he observed how the weight from earlier had returned to Tenten’s eyes. He had not wanted this for her. This was not the reason he invited her into his house.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“I’m sorry as well.”

Perhaps this was their new rhythm, falling in and out of sync.

After a small search, Neji managed to pull out a dark green tome from the collection of books he had accumulated. He offered it to her in replacement for the book in her hands. “You might find this interesting. I think you used to read it.”

He had not meant it as anything more than a peace offering. That was how Tenten initially saw it too. She exhaled, accepting the proposed exchange, and as Neji saw had become customary for her, let go of the dark turn in conversation like a dog shaking off rain from its fur.

As expected, her eyes had lit up, lantern light soft. “Gai-sensei recommended me reading this book, way back when I was first started to learn fuinjutsu.” Tenten flicked through the pages, humming in fond nostalgia. “They have some great exercises for beginners in here.” She tilted her head at him in curiosity “Have you ever tried them? It might help you with your other research.”

“No,” he admitted. Neji folded his arms, wary about where the conversation might be headed. The textbook had been in the same section as the few books on cursed seal techniques available in the library. He had picked it up on a whim, recognising it, but that was all.

In a heartbeat, Tenten was at his desk, and managed to find what little calligraphy supplies he had. Tenten was not as headstrong as Lee, but she definitely had impulsive moments. Deaf to his protests, with a few deft movements, Tenten created a small puddle of ink on his inkstone and dipped a brush into it. She danced the brush across an open notebook, leaving a trail of words in its wake.

Tenten held the brush out to Neji. “I’ve written out a simple seal for a kunai, you can copy it.”

“I’m not sure whether I’d be very good.”

Tenten rolled her eyes. “There is no need for you to be self-conscious in front of me, especially after you just spent a good hour watching me wave a katana around like an idiot.”

“Your form did improve,” Neji pointed out.

“Largely thanks to Omoi,” quipped Tenten in return.

This time, it was Tenten’s words that seemed to twist the atmosphere between them. Neji found himself feeling unbalanced. He was not sure how he felt about the two’s interactions – Tenten was seemed well at ease with the nin, evidenced by how their initial banter at the weapons conference continued on into their kenjutsu lesson. There was nothing terrible he could say about Omoi, but he could also find no great words of encouragement within him.

“Seems like you have your date.” The words tasted foreign on Neji’s tongue.

Tenten stared at him, and then laughed, a short disbelieving sound. “I don’t know about that.” As Tenten considered a reply, it felt like they were teetering upon another disagreement. In the end she decided to move the brush towards him again. “Let’s not get away from this.”

Tenten’s attempt to change the subject did not make Neji feel much better. However, she meant her words, Neji could see. This was a moment just for the two of them. These did not occur very often anymore, busy as they both were with their own lives. When had been the last time she had given him her full attention? Nothing seemed to add up.

Neji surveyed the words Tenten had written. They slanted around the page in the circular fashion required for the seal. He remembered how Tenten used to practise writing the Sōshōryu seal out on scrap pieces of paper. She had always looked so peaceful during the activity, like a sky on a quiet summer’s day. He wondered whether it would do the same for him.

And so Neji gave in, leaving his preoccupation with Omoi behind, and moved in close to Tenten until they were standing side by side. The brush was passed from her hands into his.

Neji hesitated. “I have never really done this before.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Tenten smiled at him, and then said the words in the same way she had always said them, so many times before. “You’re a genius Neji.”

It was in the same sort of tone she would use to remind him of one of her favourite facts about a type of weapon. Her eyes were bright like the sun. A curious warmth filled Neji’s chest.

Some things about her had never changed.

.

When Tenten left the Hyuuga compound that night, she could not deny it. Her heart felt happy and full, but the more steps she took, the more she felt like her heart was starting a slow but slippery slide down a slope she was not sure she wanted to end up at the bottom of. Getting to know Omoi had felt derailed.

 _Oh no,_ she thought, when she became aware of how content her mind was with fixating on the image of Neji serenely dragging his brush across a page. It was so nice to see him enjoying an activity, without his worries and responsibilities pulling him down into sobriety. They had shared a few jokes here and there too. It had felt good, but now Tenten realised that something hurt inside. Just a small tinge of – what was it? It was strange.

The past came back in a flood. Could she really have spent night and day with this boy now young man? Back then, when she was known as nothing but the girl who trained with Hyuuga Neji. How much that had changed. Since when had her destiny, which once seemed so intertwined with his that it was like they were a single piece of string, come apart to the point that now when they met, they were like passing ships? For what did she have to do with Hyuuga traditions?

She had no noble lineage, let alone even a last name or any knowledge of who her parents were. She very well could have had parents from another village. She was a weapons specialist – that was her title now. This was her world. This was why she was organising a conference. She was likely above average in terms of ability, but not a genius of hard work, like Lee, nor a genius of talent, like Neji. It was not for her, a voice inside of her said, it was not for her to be getting used to so much proximity. Nothing lasted forever. She would simply end up back in a place she had wanted to leave.

Despite this, it was also hard to deny the fact of the tears in the afternoon, as well as the uncomfortable upset that welled up in her, when Neji seemed so ambivalent, as if part of him was no longer around anymore, or if part of him had died that day. What did it mean, to feel so tender about another person? If she were completely honest with herself, she would have to admit that this was not a new sensation. Like a marble in a jar, the question rolled around in her heart, clanking against its walls. It was getting impossible to ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4. Tenten meets up with Omoi, the nin their age go out together, Neji and Tenten have a confrontation.
> 
> "What could she do to keep hold of this, of him? The moment was all too precious, spiderweb thin, and here she was, about to trample upon it."


	4. happily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a while again but it's here. Happy New Year!
> 
> Thanks for the kudos and comments, and many thanks, Nik, for the spur I needed! It always means a lot when someone leaves a comment or a kudo. Would love to hear anyone's thoughts on this chapter as well, it is probably the story's linch pin. Hope you enjoy!

Omoi was witty, and admittedly, reasonably good looking, a fact highlighted by getting to see his physique up close during their kenjutsu lesson. He was respectful, but not above throwing up a flirtatious comment from time to time. Although prone to getting lost in a ramble of overthinking, when push came to shove, he seemed sharp as anything.

When Tenten had picked Omoi up from his hotel, she had remembered feeling slightly displaced, her hand crumpling up the paper on which he had written down his address. Had it really only been a few days ago that they had made this plan, and now it was coming to pass? It seemed like a week of revelations had occurred in between.

It was enjoyable spending time with him. She could not deny that. They agreed on who the best steel smith was in the Lands of Fire and Lightning, but disagreed on when Naruto would become Hokage. She had to stop him, mid-conjecture, when he theorised the village being thrown into chaos if the Hyuuga Clan decided to block Naruto marrying Hinata. She already knew from Neji that his Clan was actually open to the idea of bringing the Uzamaki and Hyuuga Clans together. She retorted accordingly, and did not take long for Omoi to concede the point. He was probably familiar with his outlandish theories being regularly debunked.

On his observation that she and Neji seemed close, Tenten had laughed the remark off at first. They had spent a lot of time together as team mates, after all. But as the night went on, Tenten increasingly found herself wistful and confused. She could not seem to put Neji to one side. It was helping Neji perfect his kaiten that had helped her develop her own signature Sōshōryū move. If her memory served her right, it was Neji who had originally introduced her and Lee to this dango shop. She had only meant it as a comment on the side, but there was something in the way they both paused. There was a lull in the conversation as they both realised the same thing at the same time.

Nevertheless, dinner remained on friendly terms. Tenten, as promised, paid for Omoi’s dango, and they agreed to have another lesson whenever he returned to Konoha. He gave her a little smile, as if already nostalgic, and she could only return it in kind.

They met up with the rest of the nin their age and rank, with the idea that the locals would take the out of towners to see some of the sights of Konoha, or at least the ones that had not been destroyed by the War. Tenten was half-relieved and half-disappointed when Neji did not show up at the start. Neji only came later, when they had decided to sit and drink sake under the cherry blossom trees in one of the village’s parks. This had been Ino’s idea, and Kiba and Naruto had followed through with volunteering to buy sake.

Tenten watched Chouji kiss Karui on the cheek, and an uncomfortable sensation filled her stomach. Who would have known that the two would make such a pair? It was sweet to see and yet at the same time, she was ashamed to admit, annoyance ripped through her. How did love work? When your lover showed up, did everything fall together naturally, such that you soon found yourself moving as on, running at the same pace, slipping into a dance so smoothly you forgot what it was like to be apart? It would not be too hard, Tenten thought, to meet someone else. For she had spent much of this evening happily conversing with Omoi, and also getting to know his teammates Samui and Karui too.

Surely, no fairy tale romance started with such years of hazy ambivalence. At the very least, was there not supposed to be something like love at first sight? If not mutual, then at least strong enough to inspire one party to relentlessly pursue the other? Hinata had spent a good many years chasing after Naruto until the idiot had finally realised the good thing he had in his sights. The couple in question was now caught up in Hinata mopping up some beer Naruto had spilled. Sakura, too, had pined for and chased after Sasuke for many years.

She had never made any such confession to Neji. She had never sought out a spell to bind his heart to hers or gone on a quest to prove herself or save him. From very early on, Neji made it clear he had of need of her, even if it was not romantic. All she had done was to try to help him, the best she could. When the season passed, they had drifted, until, she supposed, he came to needing her again. It was all so mundane. Mornings with muddied clothes, afternoons with bruised knees – how could that amount to anything?

Tenten stared at the sake Ino had poured into her cup, wishing she could read it like tea leaves.

.

“You’ve drank too much.” Neji said this to Tenten after the Hidden Cloud nin had left. He had noticed a slight wobble in her step as she moved around to help pack up mats and bottles.

“So has everyone else.” Her tone sounded slightly defiant, even as she accepted his steadying hand on her shoulder.

It was the first time since he had arrived that he had managed to talk to her by herself. Normally, she would have sought him out to ask how his day was, but tonight she barely managed a ‘hello’, before getting lost in a never ending chain of chatter with other people. They would often be found on opposite sides of the group. Despite this, on several occasions he would catch her sitting quietly and staring into space, as if deep in thought.

“I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t need to, Neji. Even after a few drinks, I can take care of myself.”

“I know. I haven’t seen much of you tonight.” Perhaps the alcohol had affected him too.

Tenten fidgeted, as if unsure how to respond. Finally, she acquiesced and allowed him to match her pace as she started to walk in the direction of her apartment. Neji could tell she was distracted, almost melancholy. To his discomfort, Neji realised he did not know how to dismantle it.

When they arrived at her apartment, Neji found he could not let her go without stating the obvious. “There is something bothering you.”

His hand found hers, as she made to turn the handle of her front door, and she flinched, but allowed him to turn her so she faced him. Her hands were callused, as always, but still softer than his. Her eyes were troubled, but walled off, in a way he never remembered them being when they were genin.

Was it her becoming older, or had things really changed in other ways? Last night, there were moments where they fell so neatly back together it was like nothing had changed. And this was what he treasured, that familiarity, that sense of stability, in the midst of such a tumult of change.

“Neji,” Tenten averted her eyes, then exhaled. “Sometimes, I wonder about our relationship.”

It was hard to discern what she was trying to get at. He could not identify anything he had done recently that might have set her off. If anything, he thought he had been supportive yesterday, hosting her kenjutsu lesson and even preparing dinner for them both.

Neji felt himself stiffening. “I had always thought it was fine.”

Perhaps something had happened between her and Omoi. Surely, she had been interested in him. He could smell the faint, jasmine perfume she had put on. A few additional flourishes had worked their way into her features tonight as well: a slight coat of lip gloss over her lips, her lashes tinted just that little much darker. It was pleasant, but then unsettling after he concluded she had put it on for someone else. But what had that to do with him? She was free to do whatever she wanted. He saw the two hug a little longer than expected, but that was all.

It was irrational, but some part of him seemed irritated at her, for losing whatever it was that had once made them so companionable. He had always thought they had an unspoken understanding, some bond which meant they would be there for one another as needed, that they would never question each other like this – that nothing would come between them.

“Do you think really so?”

“Yes.” In this he couldn’t be anything else but honest. It was the first thought in his mind. Perhaps it was the first wish as well. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

His lack of understanding seemed to throw her, and it was like they were speaking different languages, with Tenten struggling to find the words to explain whatever foreign concept she knew to him. It was more than her slight tipsiness, he knew. It frustrated him, how they had gone from speaking without words, to now, being unable to speak even using words.

They stared at each other, and for the longest time there was nothing being said, and nothing being heard.

.

When Tenten awoke, the morning seemed to come into focus slowly. Sunlight had made its way past her blinds, casting shadows on her walls in some areas, and highlighting the cracks and the chips in the wall paint in other areas. After a few minutes, she became aware of a dull ache in her chest. The memory of Neji on her doorstep came back to her, and she flung an arm over her eyes. Handsome, polite, but most of all, _cool_. No amount of proximity seemed to fluster him. 

If she had asked him to kiss her, would he have done it, just out of civility, then left her, without so much batting his lids? Or would he have also just said ‘No, no thank you, you’ll need to find someone else.’ And then would he have wanted her to train with him, just as they had always done?

He cared for her, she was sure, but what was she to him? 

She had never known Neji to have a crush, except by in a way, acquiescing to Lee, that Sakura was “pretty” and “smart” and “I can understand why you would like her”. He had never complimented her on her appearance, though sometimes when they had trained together, he had thrown her strange glances, face flushing, and she was never sure whether he was just embarrassed to see more of her skin when she lifted her shirt up to apply a bandage over a cut, or something else was at play.

After last night, she felt like she was leaning to thinking Neji was of the former category. But how could she be sure? She had started to realise, deep down, that her heart was bursting in colour. She had been fine she had thought, she had been fine. She was meeting new people, and she saw that not everyone was like Neji. She could very well find someone else, who would take her out nicely and who did not need to coaxed to appreciate her. Was it worth it, pressing him for an opinion on this?

The answer was obvious. Truth to be told, it had probably always been. Tenten’s heart twisted. She remembered, a time, not so long ago, when she had thought it better not to ask. But how could she, really, let herself fret in silence for the rest of her life? She was a kunoichi, after all, and at that, a kunoichi who wanted to be as great as Tsunade. Great kunoichi did not let life pass them by. They chased their dreams and took life into their own hands.

She knew where she would find him, on a Saturday, with the time of day and weather being just like this. He was meditating in his old spot, and the sight alone was enough to make her pause. She could not deny the fluttery feeling that burst in her chest when she saw him. She closed her eyes for a moment, and breathed it in. Even after all of this time, he was still so familiar to her. Some things hadn’t changed with time: the particular way he inclined his head, the utterly relaxed posture of his brow, his perfectly straight back.

Neji’s head turned. “Tenten,” he greeted, acknowledging her presence.

As she watched him stand, and shake off dust from his robes, Tenten ruefully took in his simultaneous closeness and distance. What could she do to keep hold of this, of him? The moment was all too precious, spiderweb thin, and here she was, about to trample upon it.

Tenten opened her mouth to respond in a similar fashion, but then quivered, and decided she could not even bear to start the conversation with small talk. “There’s something I want to say, and something I wanted to ask.”

“Is this about what’s been bothering you?”

“Yes.”

Neji relaxed. He walked towards her, curious, and Tenten found her heart starting to pound. Something in her wanted to retreat, or at least look away. Oh this would not do-

“I have feelings for you.”

There. Out they went. She almost felt dizzy with the rush of relief that came. The words seem to dismantle the quiet of the morning, the mood flipped like a shirt turned inside out.

Neji’s eyebrows drew together in confusion. “I don’t understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“You just took Omoi out for dessert.”

“I did.”

“And I thought you wanted to meet people from other villages at this conference.”

“That was true… but I guess the past couple of days just made me realise something.”

“That you like me?”

“Essentially…” Tenten squirmed, struggling to find the words to fully explain.

Before she could open her mouth again, Neji spoke first. “Okay. I’ll need to consider it. What do you want to ask me?”

The prompt shift in topic squeezed her heart. After years and years of skirting around the topic, it almost seemed a little anti-climatic – but then what had she been expecting? Her legs felt a little weak.

“Have you… have you ever felt anything romantic towards me?” The words seemed awkward, so clumsy in their attempts to be precise. Was she dreaming? Was this really all happening, and in the way it was happening?

Neji’s eyebrows drew together, and he looked away, uncomfortable. There were several times when he opened his mouth, and then closed it, as if unsure what to say. Finally, he said, “I don’t know. I’ll also have to think about it.” His eyes turned to her, surprising gentle, and then also in pain. He did not want to hurt her. “I’m sorry I don’t have a straight answer. But whichever way I end up, I don’t think it should change things too much, should it?”

Tenten frowned. “I think it would change a lot of things.”

“It would change some things. We could still do most things together. I don’t see why we couldn’t continue to train together, or have dinner together – these are things team mates do. Feelings aside, we work well together.”

The surface level logic of his sentences rang so true it hurt. Tenten raked her hand through her bangs. An ocean of words began to bubble in her throat, an ocean all of the different reasons and feelings that had never quite been resolved. “It’s more complicated than that. You have a hold on me Neji, whether you wanted to or not… and I’m not sure whether we can go on like this.”

“But we have, for a while now.” Frustration crept into Neji’s voice.

Tenten could not help but smile. He did not want to lose her. Tenten shook her head. “It was bearable when we were kids, but it’s different now. I have responsibilities to the village, and to the Shinobi Alliance. You have roles to fulfil within the Hyuuga Clan. We don’t have that much time on our hands. I have places I still want to go, dreams I still want to chase and, I can’t just give myself to you, and give like I did without derailing it all and, and – “ Tenten broke off, alarmed by what she had been about to say. “I just can’t. Not without something more.”

“What else do you want? Maybe if you just tell me, I can do it, and we can continue on as normal.” Neji folded his arms. “Is it something physical that’s missing – is that it?”

He stepped towards her, and then paused, as if considering how to make good on the proposition. Tenten flushed and jerked backwards, her thoughts from earlier that morning coming back in a rush. She could see it in his eyes, he might well just try kissing her if she asked him to.

“I suppose that would be part of it.” Tenten crossed her arms, feeling exasperated, and then oddly, broken. “But I don’t think it would work, not if you don’t feel the same way.”

“Feel what?”

She might run down different paths, but here she found herself again, and again and again.

Tenten sighed, a shaky sound, like a wind sweeping through a tree. Tenten willed herself to calm down. She knew, deep down, what she needed to say, didn’t she? Perhaps not said the most eloquently, but at least honest enough, because, how could she be anything else but to Neji. Neji, the one she had spent a significant portion of her adolescence supporting, following, listening to, bandaging, _crying_ over even. 

And Neji was older now, changed for the better, more often steady and calm, and even now oddly persistent as he watched her with some perplexment in his eyes.

“Love.” Tenten tried to return his gaze as steadily as she could. “I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time now Neji.”

This time, Neji froze. Something had broken within him. Tenten herself felt warm. It was like she was being set aflame, growing and dissipating at the same time. There was nothing else to hide.

Neji broke the eye contact, facial features contorting. “Since when?”

Tenten laughed, a scant little sound. “I don’t know.”

Neji’s eyes had started to swirl with a mixture of emotions and thoughts. Most of them were too tangled to identify, except one. She knew what it was. Tenten’s stomach curled painfully. 

“I’m sorry-“ Honesty, again.

“That’s all right.” She could not tell – was the ground falling away beneath her, or was she becoming lighter than a feather? She felt sick.

Neji moved towards her, as if to place a hand on her arm, but Tenten stopped it by raising her own hands. Tenten forced herself to smile in what she hoped was an expression of understanding. There was only so much she could handle. Eyes burning, she focused her chakra to her feet.

“Wait-"

Tenten ignored him. In a puff of smoke, she vanished from the clearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I was very tempted to write in a plotline where alcohol consumption leads to a tipsy kiss leads to a confrontation about feelings. Making Tenten decide she would confess without any of that happening was so much harder haha, but I hoped it paid off.
> 
> Next chapter, chapter 5, the last chapter.
> 
> Neji grapples with his conversation with Tenten. Lee makes an appearance. Things comes full circle.
> 
> "How did it happen, how did he not see it coming?"


	5. ever after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first and last chapters have been the easiest to write. I knew where we started canon wise, knew where I wanted to go, but the journey in between was the hardest! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy - Lee even gets a cameo. But then of course he would, wouldn't he?

He did not know.

How did it happen, how did he not see it coming? It seemed absurd. Neji could not find a way to coherently fit it all together. It was much akin to the moments when he fought Naruto. The revelations he experienced that afternoon was like the earth shaking beneath his feet, the walls of what he long thought to be a prison crumbling. 

She _loved_ him. 

It was so simple yet inexplicable at the same time, like trying to adjust to sunshine after spending too much time in a dark place. Neji knew what the face of love looked like. He had seen it in his father. It was both similar, such that he knew she meant what she said, and then also different to what was being presented to him now.

Could someone hold something as vast as the ocean? And yet there it had been, poured out into his life throughout all these years. There had been no persistent confessions of love, nor overtly romantic gifts. But she was the one who woke up early with him and trained with until late, back in those days when he was just a mess of anger and frustration. Her actions were too practical, but then again -

Neji found himself walking in circles. To Neji’s later chagrin and relief, it would be Lee- the man ludicrously dressed in green, his rival and admittedly, friend- who would be the one to save him.

They just so happened to cross paths as Lee left a mission debriefing at the Administration Building. Lee, as usual, was bouncing in exuberance about how the mission had gone. Neji was polite, interjecting as necessary, but after a while, even Lee gathered that Neji wasn’t taking in the conversation very much at all.

“Tenten told me she has feelings for me.” Neji explained, and then trailed off. “… well. She said that she loves me.”

“What!? That’s wonderful!” A smile broke across Lee’s face, before being wiped away by confusion and then concern. “Neji, what did you say to her?”

The conversation seemed too tangled to articulate in a few words, which was frustrating. “I said, I didn’t know.”

“That’s outrageous! Oh but of course you did my dear rival...” Lee pulled his cheeks down with his fingers. “What did Tenten say?”

Neji’s brow twitched. “She left, likely upset.”

“Obviously!”

Lee insisted Neji have dinner with him, and there, the nin all but interrogated Neji into giving him additional details about the conversation. Lee’s responses generally did not change – in the sense that they remained incredulous and indignant.

“You don’t love her?!”

“… no.” Neji felt awkward. The word sounded ungrateful. “I mean, I don’t think so. I’ve never really had a chance to fall in love. I wouldn’t even know what it would be like.”

Lee’s eyes lit up like a candle. “It’s wonderful! It’s like you have the strength to do anything, to withstand anything. You feel full of kindness. Every time you see her, you are happy. Every time she is happy, you are happy.”

Neji could not help but scoff a little. “How would you know? Are you talking about Sakura again?”

“Yes.”

“Were you in love with her?

“Yes, back when we were genin, and back before I knew Sasuke-kun would always have a hold over her heart.” Lee’s eyes softened. “I think some part of me will always love her.

“You were only fourteen.”

“I know.”

Neji’s chest tightened. They too were fourteen, when Tenten used to help him practise the kaiten.

“Whenever I looked at her, whenever I saw her you know, I just thought she was a beautiful person, even with all her flaws. I wanted her to be her best self. I wanted to be my best self for her.”

“But is that love?”

“It is to me.”

Lee crossed his arms on the countertop and sighed. He did not cry nor say anything else. He simply took a minute to recompose himself, and in the silence that it took, Neji found himself marveling at Lee.

“So, Neji, I really do think you should give her a chance.” Lee tilted his head towards Neji. “You are both very dear to me and I want you both to be happy. At the very least, I bet you see Tenten differently to how you see Hinata-san.”

“Hinata-sama’s my cousin.”

“Yes, but how do you see Tenten as a _woman_?” Lee sheepishly waved his hands about. “She has a great body you know,” he said, causing Neji to glare, and Lee to laugh. “I don’t feel for her that way! But I can appreciate what she has.”

Neji had earlier avoided mentioning his suggestion of starting a physical relationship with Tenten. He had meant it, even if the heat of the moment had gotten away with him a little. He had not allowed himself to dwell on it though, nor had he ever - the fact that she was a pretty and athletic young woman, the thought of what it would mean to enjoy her body physically -

Neji’s eyes narrowed uncomfortably. “I don’t think it is proper to talk about our teammate like that.”

Lee blinked and then laughed again, placing a friendly hand on Neji’s arm. “Come now, Neji, this is a man-to-man chat.”

Neji didn’t budge. This was one thing that was too far. He would never live it down, he swore, if he told Lee anything. And in any case, it was the reason Tenten had rejected his proposition – which had jarred him more than he would have liked to think – because she had wanted something more.

“I do not want to hurt her anymore than I have.”

“Or you could find something wonderful.”

“Wouldn’t it be worse to lead her on? I’m not like the two of you. I’m not as emotional. I don’t get infatuated. Maybe I’m incapable of -” Neji broke off the sentence, suddenly irritated and surprised at himself.

It wasn’t fair, he thought. When his father had been taken from him, it had cleaved his life in two. His heart had curled in on itself, building a wall around the spot that had become achingly empty. To his embarrassment, he became aware of Lee gazing at him, in a look that was filled with utter sympathy.

“Neji,” said Lee slowly. “You nearly died for Naruto and Hinata. And I know you’d die for Tenten if her life was at stake.”

“I’d die for you and Gai-sensei as well,” Neji pointed out.

“Of course. The feeling’s mutual.” Lee grinned, briefly, before refocusing. “Neji, you can feel deeply as any of us.”

Lee would not drop his gaze. His words sank, one by one, into Neji’s mind. They were not enough to break the wall within him, but something seemed to shift. He felt relieved, and a little overwhelmed. In this, Lee was surely his better.

After a while, his friend spoke again. “What do you see, when you look at her?”

A myriad of memories assaulted his mind. The last memory was the most unsettling – Tenten, breaking away from him in the clearing, tears beginning to spill.

But then other memories came as well. Like Tenten, elated and in mid-flight, unfurling her Sōshōryū scrolls. Or Tenten laughing as she helped to bandage a silly cut he had gotten. Tenten, combing her hair, letting the dark brown lock fall sover her shoulders. Tenten, arguing with him, insisting he needed more rest. Tenten, beaming at him, for some reason he could not remember-

Neji cleared his throat, feeling uneasy. She was too close.

“I don’t know. She’s always been there for me. She is a brilliant person. Like you say, I would certainly die for her. She is something who is precious to me. It’s just… ” Neji faltered again, recalling the emptiness inside of him. “I think she would be happier with someone else.”

“Really.”

“Knowing who we both are - don’t you think so?”

Lee sighed. “Look, Neji, I think you care for her, and not in the same way you care for me, or even Hinata-san or Naruto-kun. If you don’t at least explore it,” and at this, Lee’s eyes turned solemn, like that of a judge, “I think you’re a fool.”

.

When Neji looked back at this time, many years later, he found himself mystified as to why everything had seemed so complicated then. After separating himself from Lee, Neji spent a sleepless night watching his lamp cast shadows on his bedroom walls. His mind seemed intent on revisiting every memory he had of Tenten, re-examining every conversation. It was not an all together logical train of thought that formed in the unearthly hours before sunrise. But whichever way he approached the matter before him, his entire being - mind, soul, spirit and body- all seemed to lean towards a single conclusion.

When morning arrived, Neji turned his lamp off. He brewed a pot of green tea and drank two cups. He showered, put on a fresh set of clothes, and left the Hyuuga Compound. His steps fell, one after the other. They traced an invisible line towards to a destination he had harboured in his mind even before meeting Lee.

Tenten was out throwing kunai at targets at one of her favourite spots. When Neji found her, he saw that her arm moved mechanically, letting loose one after the other. Her whole posture was tense, like an animal trapped and prepared to flee at any opportune moment. But she was also a kunoichi, and so before his eyes, her posture shifted. She stood up a little straighter and pushed back her shoulders, broadening them. She was steeling herself for anything he might say.

“What do you want, Neji?”

The clarity in his mind felt suddenly constricted with apprehension. Neji stopped at some distance, realising with frustration, that for all his talent in ninjutsu and dissecting the minds of opponents, he was still so much at a loss when it came to human relationships.

“I have an answer, about yesterday.”

She flinched. “That did not take you long.”

“Well… our relationship means a lot to me.” Undesirably, his heart started to beat a little faster, and fear started to wind in his chest as Tenten’s eyes shifted and she looked at him, her emotions turning unreadable. She didn’t say anything, but she was waiting, not running.

"I really do care for you a lot" said Neji quietly, and then found himself lost. 

“Why are you telling me this Neji?” Tenten’s asked. Her eyes flashed pain.

Neji found himself wordless, and then quickly growing hot and uncomfortable with his lack of control over the situation. 

"Tenten… you…" he pinched the bridge of his nose, irritated at himself for how difficult he was making it for both of them. How hard could it be to find the right words? “You’ve beaten sense back into Lee countless of times. You’ve supported both of us, and still found your own time to develop yourself. Many people respect you. You’re formidable on the battlefield. You’ve always been there for me. You’ve always believed in me, even when no one else would.”

A wave of shame washed over him. He ignored it. “I’m grateful. I know I’d die for you. I know I’m physically attracted to you. I just don’t know what it means for me to be romantic towards someone, or even love her.”

The word did not sound as odd out loud as it did in his mind.

Colour rose to Tenten’s cheeks. Her lips were pink, slightly open in surprise. She was beautiful, Neji thought. For the first time in the conversation, her posture relaxed. 

“I still don’t exactly know how I feel, and I’m not sure if it’s as much as you feel for me, but,– ” Neji exhaled, how was it impossible to find the right words? “I think I would like to make a start, if you would find that acceptable.”

Tenten took a step towards him. Embarrassed, he looked away. Objectively speaking, it seemed like a terrible bargain for her. What was worse was how unconfidently he had executed it – if he didn’t believe himself, why would she? Her fingers landed upon his cheek, and re-orientated his gaze towards hers.

He forced himself to look back.

He would worry about pressuring her into it, if not for the fact that Tenten dropped her fingers and let her eyes turn soft. There was a thinness about them, as if they might break at any moment. She was scrutinizing him. He wondered if he had anything to hide. He did not, he realised.

“Do you really want to?”

Brown eyes, rich in colour, filled his vision.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Everything felt like it was made of paper – he, her, the ground below and the trees around them. And he could feel the heaviness in the air, as if a storm cloud hung in the depths of Tenten’s eyes and was threatening to spill.

After what felt like a long time, Tenten exhaled, releasing a dry chuckle. “I think I would find that acceptable.”

Neji let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. “I can’t promise much. I know it is a lot to ask-”

“I think you’ll find a way make something work.” Tenten smiled at him, a watery lopsided smile that had a curious effect on his heart. “You’re a genius, after all.”

It was almost too much. Neji allowed himself a small laugh. He moved closer and as his hand found her shoulder, he remembered that she was flesh and bone, not paper. It was both familiar, and yet new, in a way that exhilarated him. He paused. He could read it in her eyes. It was all right. It was going to be all right. He leaned in and kissed her.

.

The first weeks and months were the most surreal, because Tenten could see that Neji was slowly but surely, trying to figure out and understand what was going on inside of him. He was trying to connect missing pieces through kisses and conversations, and spars and missions. Sometimes she fretted. Perhaps it would all just end, like the dispelling of a long genjutsu.

This was not the Neji pre-War. He had always been so sure of himself then. Even after fighting Naruto, he had become confident in a different way, as if he had grasped his fate and was running towards it with the passing of each day. But now, she noticed, he seemed prone to second guessing and wondering. It was as if he was re-feeling the world around him, unsure of whether anything would hold if he pressed it too far.

But there was one day, when something seemed to hit home to Neji. She was meeting him on their way to dinner, and when she made a move to start walking, he stopped her, looked in her in the eye and said:

“Tenten, I’m in love with you.”

He said it so simply, it surprised her how it natural the words sounded on his tongue. And Tenten, for a moment, couldn’t quite process the information, her mouth falling open as she just looked at him.

He was in love with her.

Could that, really, be so?

His eyes looked earnest. They were calm, like a lake on a windless day.

The world seemed to go quiet. She swore her heart skipped a beat. She wanted to know whether she was dreaming or not, but it was impossible to tell, until Neji stepped towards her and lifted his hand towards her face. As his fingers touched her cheeks, she realized she was crying.

Perhaps someone else would have been offended, confused or annoyed by her reaction. But as it was, because the person before her was Neji, who really did know her best at the end of the day, despite all of their recent palaver, well, Neji just looked at her for a long time, and then finally spoke, voice thick with emotion.

“I’m sorry I took so long to catch up.”

He kissed her, gently, and at this, the quiet broke. Tenten heard birds singing in the trees around them, tasted the salt of her own tears on her lips, and managed a watery laugh. Giddily, she leaned in so their foreheads were touching, his cool, hers hot. “I think even I needed to catch up with myself,” she said.

.

After that, things seemed to proceed slower, as if the weight of their revelations dragged time down with it. They still fulfilled their respective duties and went on missions, and for all appearances to the ordinary observer looked like industrious, busy young ninja. But for them, they found themselves trying to find opportunities to make time slow down. They would often take walks in the evenings, quietly rehearsing the day’s events to each other.

On one lazy Sunday afternoon, they lay on a hillside, looking out at a parade of white clouds proceeding through the sky. 

Tenten had snuck her hand into Neji’s, and was absent-mindedly playing with it, tracing his palm lines. “Do you think this was fate?”

Fate? The word brought with it a world of connotations and emotions, especially memories of that day on the battlefield. Neji thought of his vulnerable but miraculously durable body, and wondered how he hadn’t died, and why he didn’t die, feeling the weakness of his lungs that hadn’t always been there before. Life had presented him with a strange mixture of choices and then not-choices. He looked at Tenten’s hand entwined with his.

“What do you think would have happened, if I had died that day?”

Tenten’s hand immediately tensed. When she didn’t reply, Neji repeated the question.

Tenten sat up, her hand breaking away from his and leaving him holding air. More upright, the kunoichi searched his eyes furtively, trying to discern the motivations behind the question. Neji looked back, feeling almost detached in how temperately curious he felt.

Tenten’s demeanour changed, as if she were struggling to find words, and balancing different feelings. Finally, she looked up at the sky, as if willing her tension to dissipate in that direction.

“Who knows,” she said. “I would have hoped, all things being equal, that our forces still would have won. That we’d still be able to push through, even losing you. I’d like to bet again on Naruto still being able to beat the sense back into Sasuke at the end of it all.”

“What would you have done?”

Again, he could see the strain in her eyes, but as had, he realized, become so characteristic of her, she started to speak in a wry fashion. “Ha. Perhaps I would have become an old maid. Or married Lee.”

Neji’s throat made a strangled sound. Tenten laughed. Neji rolled over so that his elbows anchored his body, and gazed at her. “I’m serious.”

Tenten laughed again, though it was a sound that seemed like it could have cracked into tears at any moment.

“I would have been heart broken.” Her eyes turned dull, and for a while, she seemed lost in her own memories, unfathomable to Neji. After a while, she found a way to speak again. “But I would have carried on, or at least I hope I would. I’d burn up my energy by going on extra missions. Maybe travel, set up a weapons shop, teach kids how to throw pointy things… serve our village…” Tenten tilted her head, exhaled and stroked his cheek. “Live, I guess, as shinobi do.”

Neji quietly laughed. “I’m sure you would have lived.”

Tenten chuckled, and it was genuine this time. “I would have beaten the crap out of my life, that’s how I would have lived.”

Tenten’s expression turned bittersweet and she looked at him for a long time. He returned it, memorising the curve of her lips and the way the sun illuminated her eyes. Finally, she leaned in and kissed him, before swiftly rolling over and standing. She reached down to take his hand again in hers.

“But,” said Tenten, pulling him to join her on her feet, “I suppose I’m stuck with the deplorable alternative of learning all of the stuffy Hyuuga customs and traditions.” Without letting go of his hand, Tenten used her other hand to try and pull some grass out of his hair. “Down goes my feminism. Gods, do we have to talk about marriage?”

“Probably,” said Neji, watching her grooming through the side of his eyes, amused by her fastidious concentration. “At the very least, I should remind you we have a clan function tomorrow evening.”

Tenten groaned, and launched into a speech complaining about the endless variety of titles for all of Neji’s different aunts, uncles, cousins and second cousins. Neji did not add much, generally satisfied by distracting himself by the feeling of how her hand fit neatly within his. They left that hillside, walking back towards the village using a path through a small section of forest. And they talked, or sometimes fell into silence, sometimes both pondering their futures, both in relation to each other and sometimes to just themselves. And what more needs to be said? They would have more arguments, sometimes to the point of tears on Tenten’s part, and loud, angry words on Neji’s part. And they would go through more battles, and gain more scars, and make multiplicities of visits to the hospital.

They had children, one after the after.

They would continue to fight as needed.

They lived and died, as shinobi do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And in Fairytales, they say, the lovers live happily ever after.
> 
> So here we are! It took me a long time, but I think I have finally managed to express, best I can, some of my long standing fascination and affection for the dynamic between Neji and Tenten. Would love to hear your thoughts as always, even if short, and especially if you have been following this over a period of time.
> 
> Thanks for making to the end, and for all the support along the way. Every kudo, comment and bookmark has meant a lot!


End file.
